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Re: Having a difficult time and T is too kind

Posted by OzLand on July 7, 2007, at 20:50:33

In reply to Having a difficult time and T is too kind, posted by OzLand on July 7, 2007, at 11:33:08

I emailed my therapist today and told him I was embarrassed and ashamed, etc, and I told him that I feel like I am different people sometimes and that he doesn't see the competent professional that I am at work. He knows this already, I think, given my background and training and the fact that we were at a workshop together right after I started seeing him. Of course I didn't behave like a ditz there. Anyway, I wrote him that I know I am not like the separate entitities that did not always know what happened back when I was in treatment a number of years ago, but I still act like the different parts of me at times and then feel stupid. He already knows this, though. He wrote back to me and told me to stay safe and take care of myself as he knows I have a difficult and strenuous week ahead of me. I wrote back and thanked him and said I would see him on Wednesday.

My previous therapist who recommended ECT was not like him at all and used to get angry with me about things and if I got angry with him. Years ago I was in therapy with someone who never got angry with me even when I acted really, really horrible or when I regressed or dissociated or whatever. I think my current therapist is going to be that way too. I just don't like for him to see the "sick" side of me. Silly I know as why else would I be going to him. I work in the field and trained at what was the best psychiatric training site in the country at the time, and so it is difficult for me to accept help and to let him see stuff about me that is not the competent side.




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