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UPDATE: NEW T? *poss abandonment trigger*

Posted by Maria01 on July 6, 2007, at 18:10:39

In reply to Re: Sudden termination initiated by therapist, posted by Maria01 on July 6, 2007, at 10:47:58

First of all, I wanted to thank everyone who responded. It is such a comfort to hear from other people, including those with professional training. It's always good to hear others weigh in. this is long, so I hope you bear with me. Just some random stuff:
I'm meeting with a new T on Monday...I spoke with her at length over the phone and she seems to have a good read on the situation, and what I'm up against. She seems very kind, calm, and grounded. She's been in practice for over 10 years, so I'm hoping she's good and seasoned.
*I was a decent client. Always on time, cancelled only 4 times in the past two years. Twice for contagious illness, and twice after really rough sessions in which I felt it was best for me to get a little space.
*I busted my *ss getting to her office at times. My old car died(the one I had prior to the stolen one)on my app't day. I grabbed a rental so I wouldn't miss my app't. I couldn't really afford the rental, but I also couldn't afford to miss my app't.
* I took it in stride when she would cancel or go out of town. T's are people, too, I figure. The only time I got out of joint was the week I lost my job. Her mom had died that same week, so I asked to bridge with another counselor in the practice. she wasn't happy, but I had to take care of myself while in crisis mode. It's an acceptable practice, so I was not out of line in any way. I knew it would take her a week or so to wrap up her mom's affairs, funeral, etc. and I had just lost my job and was in shock.
*Sure, I would test and challenge her quite a bit, but not any more so than anyone else with trust issues would. I was never rude, never cursed at her, etc. I just wanted to make sure she wasn't full of sh*t; talk can be really cheap. I was also very candid with her at times about how I felt being in that setting, and also about my despair after losing my job, and especially after my car got stolen. Suicidal at the time? you bet. I didn't beat around the bush about that at all. when you are staring homelessness in the face, yeah.

She dumped my *ss anyway, even after I told her that losing her would be like losing my heart.

Here are some questions for the new T(besides the usual regarding training, orientation, qualifications, etc.):What age group do you like working with and why?What are the predominant issues that you see in your practice?Describe a really difficult period with a client, and how it was resolved? What are your thoughts on the client/T relationship?What are your thoughts on attachment?Are you familiar with neurobiology?Do you have access to peer consult for when things get rough for you?

That's a partial list. I want to make sure this will be a "match". If not, I will keep looking. I will not let being cast away by one therapist deter me in finding another. If I do that, I will be letting that once experience run things for me, and that's giving it WAY too much power.

Getting tossed away by my old T was the worst thing...I had always worried about it when working with her, and part of me still can't believe that she's not part of my life anymore. she made the choice, though. For whatever reason.

Thanks for listening to me ramble....




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