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Re: But it still floors me TherapyGirl

Posted by 10derheart on July 5, 2007, at 17:42:07

In reply to Re: But it still floors me 10derheart, posted by TherapyGirl on July 5, 2007, at 17:21:52

> Maybe this is the way I need to explain to T why it was so upsetting for another client to knock on the door during my session. Do you mind if I borrow your words?

No, of course I don't mind, but thank you for asking. Anything that might help :-)

I keep trying to imagine my emotions in the moment - and the scar that would be left - if that happened to me. Yuk. I imagine my thing wouldn't be with that client - there's no accounting for other people's views or prioritizing of therapy in their lives...everyone just doesn't hold it in such a special place as some of us here do. But if I had to witness my T. *talk* to another client, during my session...{shudder} He knows those people need to not exist very often, and NEVER during our time.

I don't even like it when he says hello to the next person, or, "I'll be just a moment," or anything around his waiting room, so I try to exit fast to avoid that. A longer conversation would feel so....nasty. It's a violation, you know?

> I work on looking at my T more, too, although it definitely doesn't come naturally. I try to make it a point to look at her when I say "loaded" things, though, so I can see if she's with me or to judge her reactions.

well, then you're doing way better than me. I look a lot on the "light" stuff, and once in a great while when I ask a short, direct question, but when I tell big stuff, or am really talking from a younger place and we both know it....I am always looking down and see only a little shifting in my peripheral vision. I just feel so unsure and self-conscious :-( I've got to focus on that. I think I am losing the connection with him in session and not seeing some understanding and compassionate looks, things that I could recall to calm me later, from this constant floor-studying.

 

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