Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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I been journalling tons**grossness trigger***

Posted by muffled on November 19, 2006, at 22:42:29

of drivel.
Desprately trying to sort stuff out.
One thing I wrote I have a question:
"It doesn't matter WHY i think I am disgusting. Or the huge level of intensity of self repulsion. It exists.
I think what matters is that maybe, who knows, maybe I WAS disgusting...but what matters is NOW. Now I must each day try and not be disgusting. I think the ongoing concern is that the old disgusting is SO repulsive, that it will leak thru, and show, and taint. The feeling is SO all consuming,UTTERLY overwhelming in its grossness, that its hard to make it go away."
So the question is-how does a person make it go away? How do you pack it away safely so it doesn't leak thru and taint the present? How do you quash the shame of it, when really (in my case) its completely illogical?
Is it there for life?
Is there a way to seal away the contents?
I don't even know what they ARE. I have only the feelings it makes me feel.
I feel like such an idiot to have these bad feelings inside for no reason. If there is no reason, why don't they go away? Why is my inside kid so sad? Why is she like a stinking pile of chicken sh*t?
I just don't understand, I don't know what to do.
I ahte it all SO much.
No child should feel like this. What is wrong with me?
Any ideas would be appreciated.
Thank you,




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