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Re: Trying to deal with husband's reaction All Done

Posted by Dinah on November 19, 2006, at 11:43:55

In reply to Trying to deal with husband's reaction, posted by All Done on November 18, 2006, at 17:57:33

I understand the feeling. Really I do.

Therapy's so far outside the normal experience of friend/lover/etc. that unless you understand it, it's hard to put it in the proper place.

I've never quite been able to figure out how my husband thinks about my therapist. I think it used to bother him that my therapist was (in my husband's opinion) attractive. And that he was relieved when he saw him again recently.

But overall my husband knows me well enough to know it wasn't a sexual attraction.

Still, I'm positive that some part of him was distressed to have his wife dependent on another person, especially another man. And he balanced that distress or concern with happiness that my therapist absorbed the worst of my meltdowns so that he didn't have to be bothered by them. He saw my therapist as sort of a protective barrier between him and me.

I'm not quite sure how he worked it all out. The language of emotions isn't my husband's native tongue. And that's ok.

Maybe your husband just came out with some of what he's felt for some time. Or maybe he was surprised with what he found, and had to comment on it. In any case, if he seems ok with it now, it's probably ok to let it lay. Maybe ask him when the iron is cold if he realizes that he's the only lover in your life, and that your therapist plays a different role. Something like that.

People do occasionally blow up about something and then get over it.

But if it continues to be an issue, you might want to think of other options to help your husband feel more comfortable.

No matter what, there's nothing inherently wrong with listening to your therapist's voice mail. My husband has seen my "T" section of my iPod. :)

 

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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Dinah thread:705020
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061109/msgs/705224.html