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Re: Trying to deal with husband's reaction All Done

Posted by annierose on November 19, 2006, at 7:33:04

In reply to Trying to deal with husband's reaction, posted by All Done on November 18, 2006, at 17:57:33

Not knowing your husband of course, and I'm the worse person to try to "guess" at what men are thinking, so I may be way off base ---

When you called him later in the day, he was probably "over it" by then. He heard the message, it kind of freaked him out a tad, then you explained your point of view, he mulled it over and chalked it up to not really understanding the depth of the theraputic relationship.

For better or worse, my husband doesn't understand the attachment I have to my therapist either. But because she is female, the sexual part does not play into the relationship (or complicate matters from his point of view). He'll make comments, "I just don't understand why you need to go so often. (translation = it costs so much money and/or you talk about her and what happened in your session)" And I reply, "You don't need to understand. You have never been a therapy client. I obviously have some attachment issues to work out and she is the person I have chosen to work this out with. All I ask from you is your support. You don't have to get it."

I'm surprised your t offered to see him. Most t's find that a difficult position to be in once you have entered into a long term relationship when them. What are your feelings regarding this? I would think it through carefully. I could see positive and negatives, but when I weigh it in my little head, the scale always tips to "NO WAY" (not that she would even offer though).

You did nothing wrong. It's okay to receive comfort from your t via a voice mail. It's a perfect way to soothe and take care of yourself. I remember when he left that message. It's so wonderful that you have that.




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