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Trying to deal with husband's reaction

Posted by All Done on November 18, 2006, at 17:57:33

I think it was about six months ago when I was going through a particularly difficult time that my T left me a voicemail message. He said he called to let me know he was thinking about me because he knows it's important to me that I know he thinks about me. He said he hoped I was doing alright and I didn't have to, but if I wanted, I could call him back.

I saved the message and listen to it on a fairly regular basis. Anyway, my husband heard it the other day and asked about it. He seemed upset (for him anyway) and kept asking me how I would feel if it was a woman leaving him a message like that. I told him if that woman was his T, I would understand. He looked pretty skeptical about that. He's never been in therapy and I don't get the feeling he quite understands.

I tried to tell him (briefly, we only had a short amount of time to talk...before I left for therapy :-( ) why it's so important to me to feel like I matter to my T. My husband asked how many clients he has and do I expect him to go through his Rolodex and think of each of his clients all the time? :-( :-( :-(

I feel like this is all difficult to explain. I talked to my T about it and asked him to "fix it". He suggested my husband coming in to see him (with or without me). I think I'll offer for my husband to go see him without me. I'm also going to show my husband an email that he (my husband) wrote to me that helps me like my T's message helps sometimes. Because at one point, my husband said, "so you need to know he's thinking about you because you don't know I'm thinking about you?" Sigh. It's not so simple, you know?

I haven't seen my husband all day, but we just talked on the phone. He sounds perfectly fine. In a good mood, actually. (Unlike me stewing about it all day.) Should I try to talk more about it or no?

It's also triggering lots of old stuff where my mom would accuse me of things she thought were "bad" or "wrong". I got in huge trouble for reading "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret" when I was about 13. As an adult, I realize so much of it was her own stuff and I wasn't doing anything wrong.

But I still feel like I've been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. :(

Thanks for reading even though I've been avoiding everyone and not responding to anyone's posts. It's been a difficult time for me the last few weeks. I'm sorry.






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