Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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I think the Real Work has started CAbu triggers*

Posted by Lindenblüte on November 14, 2006, at 22:49:55

So, after about 6 Weeks with my newT, I'm doing pretty well, I think. I'm still guarding my emotional expression, but I'm talking to her, and telling her uncomfortable things. blah blah blah...

Today I think she wanted to take it to another level. At one point she asked, "If you could talk to your mom about anything, what would you talk to her about?"

I skirted around this one pretty well. (Of course, duh, I'd talk to my mom about her retirement plans...)

With 4 minutes left in the session, T says something to the effect of, you know, in these situations, one of the first steps of coming to terms with the history of abuse is that we need the passive parent (mom) to acknowledge the abuse, and to apologize that they did not take care of you the way that they should have. What you really want to hear from your mother is that she is sorry and that she knows that you were abused and that it hurt you.

And of course my gentleT, who has pretty much been listening, never saying things THIS directly. well, she's saying this, and she's my mom's age, and there are tears streaming down my face.

Of course, I counter, that what I'm most afraid of is that I will give her the opportunity to tell me how sorry she is for her passive role, and that she will deny and tell me that my memories are worthless. And how will my relationship ever survive that? That's the terrifying thing. That's why I had tears running down my face- can't remember whether I had mascara on, until dark smudges are all over my tissue. barely had my face blotted as I walked out the door

handed her the co-pay check. Oh by the way, is there any way to remove my DSM diagnosis from the bill? I got my first bill and it's spelled out. Oh? she says, what does it say? I said. DSM-IV diagnosis ### DIAGNOSIS SPELLED OUT IN CAPS.

Oh, she says she will see if it's possible to just put the number. I said that's fine. I'm smart enough to look it up, but I don't like to be confronted with it so boldly every month.


And then I thanked her kindly and blotted my face again, hoping I didn't scare the crap out of her next appt. with my melting visage.




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poster:Lindenblüte thread:703546