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Re: Well, I'm not rejecting you Kerria, » muffled

Posted by kerria on November 10, 2006, at 15:57:50

In reply to Well, I'm not rejecting you Kerria, » kerria, posted by muffled on November 10, 2006, at 14:27:06

Hi Muffled.

i didn't try another T.

i have an appt on Monday. It's actually a dr who's in training. There's a very limited amount of t visits- 40 per year and i still have more left- it's from my h's insurance.

Hopefully it will work out- it's hard to leave T - i'm not leaving him for sure- just seeing the new one next week. One visit.

Why would disability be so unfair?

$115. is barely one visit per month. i thought that i'd be able to go to t twice a week- maybe then i can actually get better or at least be able to function better than now. Everyone is always angry with me about things i don't remember doing or can't help.

i'm so depressed about everything.i can't get over what happened. It was a part of my day to go there- all the people in the world that i confided in are there. It hurts so much that the administration allowed it to happen to me- here people have to at least be civil- there's its so weird- you never know when people will start posting to each other and make up a story that has nothing to do with you and before you know it- you can't defend yourself - they brought all these ugly lies in and part- truths- things i hate about myself. it puts me in such a bad placee- i feel like hurting myself because i can't change and am too frustrated to go on.After reading what they said i hated myself so much.

Now they're saying that they were so mean because i reminded them of someone else. Why did they allow that to happen to me? i kept saying "What if this was YOU? how would YOU feel if someone said that to you? No one cares.

Muffled- i think i'm not doing well enough for support groups- it's so hard to even see my writing.
i wish there were an answer - ssomeone who could help me. i wish i could get out of life and fix everything about myself so i didn't have to mess up my family. everything's too hard,

Today i got to work three hours late- left an hour early to go to lawyer's to contest the small amount they want to give me- i was too late for the appt - cancelled-he just talked on the phone- i can't function- i lose too much time. Things like going to the lawyer's scare me so much. i struggle to work- it's not worth it at all-. i have to go bankrupt- i can't afford to pay bills. i totally forgot to say that when i called him. He said just try to find out why amount is so low. i have to take time off from work to ask SS why . If i ever can get there.





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