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Re: my friends jumped me :(

Posted by kerria on November 8, 2006, at 21:50:48

In reply to my friends jumped me :(, posted by kerria on November 7, 2006, at 11:19:26

Thanks Phillipa, Muffled, TherapyGirl and Wishingstar for writing to me.
i'm devastated about what happened at that forum. i can't believe that they attacked me like that- today one person is writing how i reminded her of someone in her family- another says she didn't know why- but no one is sorry they hurt me so much. They just wanted me out . tears.

i hate myself because parts inside agree with all the negative things that they said against me. i don't know what to do about it. i can't communicate with my parts.i wish something could help- i feel so bad .

i'm still so hurt. i thought they cared about me. - it's always so hard - i never have any friends, therapy is so impossibly hard. physical pain is so triggering and so hard to control - facing surgery and parts are terrified.

Saying all these things look to others like i'm whining- it's everyday life for me. i wish i didn't have to identify with it either. My life is a nightmare. A part always thinks the most negative thoughts about me- hates me for who i am- nothing i could ever change- hates me - always has s. thoughts. it's so painful to live- that makes it easy to listen.

people don't care that they hurt me- it's ok to be mean - something in me brings out the meanesst in others- they always end up a. me.

tears. T even said that. One or more of my parts sabotage me - sabotage relationships. i don't want to let people a. anymore. tears. it hurts too much already- i'm not going to get better and i can't live like this.




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