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Re: The Relationship Daisym

Posted by Dinah on November 8, 2006, at 21:48:33

In reply to Re: The Relationship, posted by Daisym on November 8, 2006, at 19:59:29

> But all that said - my therapist is a long-term, trauma specialist with years and years of experience. He knows how to ask the right questions, he calls if he thinks I might be having a hard time and he reaches out to me, he doesn't just wait for me to reach out and then react.

Yes, this is what I meant. My therapist is really a good match for me in many ways that your therapist might not be. Mine seems softer than yours (not in a bad way on either side, but maybe you know what I mean), and more likely to let me figure things out on my own or with Babble help, which tends to suit me.

My therapist says he cares, but he does wait for me to reach out and then reacts. And in practice, he doesn't always react with that much caring. It depends a lot on what's going on with him. He *certainly* wouldn't reach out to me no matter how hard a time I was having.

And I'm his only really long term therapy client, so I can't say he specializes in it, or has tons of experience in it, and sometimes that shows.

So sometimes it's hard not to make comparisons.

Thinking that your therapist is special in reaching out in particular is the thing that I most long for.

But also that Falls' therapist seems to have really meaningful insights. Or that Pfinstegg's therapist seems really knowledgeable.

I do agree that it's important to make the sort of contributions to the relationship that you make, and that even the most gifted therapist couldn't build the same sort of relationship with someone who didn't contribute a lot of energy. Well, of course they don't build the same sort of relationship with any other client, but you know what I mean.

Fighting to relationship has been one of the greatest indirect benefits of therapy. I'm not sure if he taught me, or vice versa, or a little of both.

 

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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Dinah thread:701683
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/701826.html