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Re: I feel so repulsive to look at my old posts :-( orchid

Posted by Pfinstegg on May 17, 2006, at 16:57:20

In reply to I feel so repulsive to look at my old posts :-(, posted by orchid on May 10, 2006, at 18:16:44

Orchid, I have a different viewpoint. First, you are clearly very successful, intelligent and accomplished in your personal life- and also loving, thoughtful and kind- many very healthy and rewarding areas.

But, I think that termination was worse than awful. It should never have happened like that. With people recovering from parental neglect, various kinds of abuse and csa, the part of our brain which really needs to heal is the right hemisphere. We need to lay down many more neuronal connections there in order to be able to self-soothe, put the past truly in the past, and enjoy our adult lives. So much of this happens through the building up of trust, attachment, and the feeling of being truly understood. It's probably far less verbal than psychiatrists used to think. We need to take all of this into us, at our own pace, and then terminate very slowly- with both parties having a say in it. Contact as needed afterwards is ideal also.

You sound like a very courageous, talented person with some unfinished business. Can you find a way (a good therapist) to finish what you made such a good start on? I know you are in India now- that does make it harder, but not it's not impossible, is it? Try looking for the newer type of interactive, relational therapist. It could make such a difference in the amount of joy and fulfillment you will have during the rest of your life.




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