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Re: I feel better this morning. » madeline

Posted by Larry Hoover on May 16, 2006, at 9:43:28

In reply to I feel better this morning. » madeline, posted by madeline on May 16, 2006, at 7:44:45

> Although when I first woke up I felt as though I was having a psychotic break (whatever that is) and the suicide ideation was very strong.

I'm so sorry to hear you awoke to that. I hope you'll accept some objective views of your situation.

If you awoke to that, your sleep period must have been very productive indeed. If this path was easy, your unique path, you'd have done all this crap a long time ago. It is precisely because it is so difficult that it hangs over you still.

This too shall pass. All will be well. This is how you get to wellness.

Please accept that there are signposts on the path, such that other pathwalkers have some idea of where you are on yours. I'm going to ask you to do something. I'm going to ask you to place your faith in the belief that all will be well. I know you have no evidence, yet, but that's what faith is all about.

Your love of animals, this concept that you labelled as pathetic, is anything but. You bear full responsibility for those creatures' well-being. You demonstrate precisely what is needed by you, yourself. Take yourself under that same care. Has not your kitty upset a favourite plant? Or clawed your furniture? Did you love her any less?

Inside of you, you crave that same unconditional love. Ask yourself why you deny yourself that same kind of care. Challenge that denial with all of your intellect. Wherever that sense of undeservedness has arisen, you must snuff it out. You must discover all the old tapes that play in your mind, the ones that make you feel undeserving, and over-write them with unconditional love. One by one, you take those tapes and change them. And with each tiny change, you tilt the balance.

How did the word pathetic arise in your mind? It is not by chance that it did. You heard it, some time, some where. Maybe many times, and many wheres. And that tape(s) play(s) automatically. It plays both with or without your conscious awareness that it is a tape. Your conscious self can erase the old tape, and substitute a new one. Like a movie, with different endings.

I was so pissed off last night. They killed off Izzy's dream guy, instead of letting him marry her (Grey's Anatomy). That's the kind of effect tapes have.

It's kind of like weeding the garden. You keep the roses, and you pull out the crabgrass.

Be aware, there may be many copies of particularly nasty tapes. You think you got the weed, and another springs up in its place.

All will be well, Maddie. All will be well.

I hope it's not presumptuous of me, but I now offer you a New Improved Lar CyBearHug®....






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