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Re: Saw my T, no help there today. **trigger** madeline

Posted by frida on May 15, 2006, at 22:29:31

In reply to Saw my T, no help there today. **trigger**, posted by madeline on May 15, 2006, at 20:10:06

I am so sorry your T wasn't there for you in the way you needed him to be...

when you go to T needing something so badly-- feeling like the little girl we were...
and they react that is truly painful. Maybe you can reach out to him?

I am glad you went out to get hay for your piggies..

I have guinea pigs too, I was abused by my father, struggling, and my guinea pigs help me hang on and find a reason to keep on living

Sending you support,take gentle care of you..

I don't know WHAT was wrong with him, but he really seemed to be almost angry at what I was saying.
> I was crying and blubbering the whole time and maybe he was upset by that.
> In fact, one time I had to tell him not to yell he got so worked up.
> My dad used to do that, get all worked up when I made the slightest little mistake.
> I would be mad at my T too, but I just don't have it in me. I'm to tired to do anything but just let his anger just wash over me. I think he will resolve it himself and everything will be fine on Wednesday.
> Life is really funny. Today when I got home from therapy I was making a list of the pros and cons of suicide. I could only think of one reason to do it, freedom from pain. I had a whole list of reasons not to. Most of them pet related, then realized my guinea pigs were out of hay and had to go to the pet store. I doubt if anyone in the store realized that just 15 minutes ago I was rationally trying to figure out whether or not to end my own life.
> I'm glad I decided to live another day that's always the right answer.
> Surely to god I will feel better tomorrow.




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