Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Well, here you have it. ***CSA tigger****

Posted by madeline on May 15, 2006, at 7:55:20

I was sexually abused as a child. Oh yeah, I've said it before, but I haven't really felt it.

Now I feel it. Really really deeply and it's like a tearing in my heart and soul.

I can't form normal relationships. I'm horribly lonely, but I can't reach out. I can't reach out the right way. It either doesn't come out, or it comes out all sexualized and harmful.

This life I have, I wonder if it worth living.

I know what I want, I want to be loved and love people back. I want that so desparately. But there is this THING and I don't know what it is that just paralyzes me.

I know I am headed for a very down time. I should have never have gone to the damn gynecologist and I should REALLY have not have gone to that party saturday night. I acted like such a whore. Just a two-dollar whore. Anybody could have stepped up to THAT plate.

I know I am smarter than my behaviour indicates, I have a friggin' doctorate for god's sake. Right now, though, I think that and a dollar will get you a cup of coffee.

How can I EVER face my friends again? How could I do that?

Sorry to not be my normal self, but damn I don't like HER very much either right now.




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poster:madeline thread:644196