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Re: by the way... NikkiT2

Posted by Estella on May 14, 2006, at 7:51:52

In reply to Re: by the way... Estella, posted by NikkiT2 on May 14, 2006, at 4:12:07

> I don't attempt to hurt people just because I am hurting. Well, I did when I was 14 or 15, but luckily realised that seeing others hurt didn't make me feel any better, and thus it ws a behaviour I really shouldn't continue.

seeing others hurting doesn't make me feel better. seeing others hurting... is typically what snaps me out of it. because i'm horrified by what i've done. i guess it is mostly when i think people don't realise i'm hurting... when i think people aren't getting that... when it seems like they are just trying to hurt me... or are just continuing on in hurting me... but when i realise i've hurt them... i feel horrible. i used to SI over that. to teach myself. in reperation. i guess i thought of it that way. i've learned now that SI doesn't help the situation at all so i don't do that any more. i've also learned how to refocus on other stuff to refrain from beating myself up. mostly... but it is hard...

> And I don't see it as any excuse either, and I don't see it as acceptable behaviour. I will regret making others hurt when I did it at 15 for the rest of my life..

so you don't do it at all anymore?
i know it isn't acceptable behaviour...
i do regret it immensely...
and i'm sure i'll regret it for the rest of my life...

what i'm really trying to figure is how to stop with it...



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poster:Estella thread:643770
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060505/msgs/643788.html