Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Feeling lower than dirt

Posted by LadyBug on May 12, 2006, at 8:00:35

I'm having a really hard time right now. I saw my therapist last night and we talked about how unhappy I am and how therapy isn't going to make me happy. It's my marriage that's making me unhappy and until I'm out of it therapy isn't going to do what I'd like it too. I'm so down today it's all I can do to get ready for work. I want to crawl back in bed and stay there till Monday. I'm working towards a plan to get out of my marriage of 22 years. It's hard. I told my therapist yesterday that I don't even want to live anymore and the feeling is getting worse everyday. I have 2 darling girls that need me and I need them, but the feelings of leaving it all behind including them is getting stronger to where I dont even care. Could I take some time off work and get my life together? I know there's not a dang thing anyone can do for me. This is my issue. The only place I have to relieve any of the pain is in therapy. And it tears me apart as it did last night. My therapist is going on a retreat today for the weekend with the other therapists in her office. So she isn't available after this morning if even that. She told me to leave a voice mail for her before she leaves. I want to but I don't want to tell her how awful I feel right now. I hate my life and I want to be done with it. Don't tell me to seek help, I won't do anything dumb even if I feel like it. I'm just hurting more than I can bare. I'm in tears writing this. How in the heck am I gonig to make it through the next few hours let alone the day? I work with great people, but they aren't aware of all the pain I carry. I can't take it anymore. I want my T to put her arms around me and tell me it will be ok. But no hugs. She said I am in her heart, I know I am, but she isn't going to take away this pain.




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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:LadyBug thread:642927