Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Re: Does anyone find it so hard to forgive themselves orchid

Posted by madeline on May 11, 2006, at 7:18:49

In reply to Does anyone find it so hard to forgive themselves orchid, posted by orchid on May 10, 2006, at 18:50:01

I think it is so hard to forgive ourselves because somehow, deep down, we don't really feel as though we deserve to be forgiven. I do it too.

Look at how readily we dispense forgiveness and understanding to others from everything to abuse to drinking all of the milk. Yet we can't manage to give ourselves the same pardon for the simplest of things.

Please understand that I think the relationship and "transference" that occurs between a patient and a therapist is necessary for the therapy to continue. I do not view these feelings as something that requires forgiveness.

However, I absolutely understand how other people could see it that way.

I do not know the specifics of your previous therapy, but I do know that as human beings we are hardwired to respond to kindness, patience and regard from another person. You probably just responded the way you were designed to respond. No more, no less than that.

If you were hungry, then you would eat. If you were tired, you would rest. If you were thirsty, you would drink.

You were just being human, Orchid. Yet it seems to me that you want to be superhuman in some way.

That's a lofty goal. I commend you for wanting to reach it, but you deserve to be forgiven for falling short on occasion. We all do.





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