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Re: T wont stop talking! annierose

Posted by wishingstar on May 9, 2006, at 9:48:37

In reply to Re: T wont stop talking!, posted by annierose on May 9, 2006, at 6:28:23

When she does let there be silence, I usually get anxious and dont like it.. but I KNOW I'd get used to it quickly and speak. As it is, I'm just blurting out whatever comes to mind and never getting any deeper.

I did write her a letter once maybe 2 months ago telling her that I was struggling with the impulse to hurt myself in order to get her attention (I have a history of self injury, but I think it was pretty clear that I wasnt referring to that in the letter). We did discuss it a little, and I think I even posted about the response here maybe. I told her I didnt feel heard and told her what I needed from her (even though she didnt ask! grr).. she changed things a bit for a few weeks, but it's back to normal now. I'm not sure I could articulate what has changed though. Maybe I need to try a different type of letter. I have been thinking of leaving a message on her voice mail with how I feel, and not asking her to call back.. just so she knows. Thanks for the suggestion though, I'm going to think about it.

And I do like your question suggestion! I am a little bit sarcastic in real life, so it wouldnt feel terribly unnatural. I've also been considering just saying nothing.. not responding at all after she goes on these monologues. Maybe my "I see what you're saying" is reinforcing. And then she'd have to ask why I wasnt talking, right?

Sorry for the rambling.. I think I'm sort of thinking outloud (or.. with my fingers?) here. I appreciate your "listening". :)




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