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Re: Addressing suicide CEK

Posted by B2chica on May 9, 2006, at 9:27:33

In reply to Re: Addressing suicide Declan, posted by CEK on May 9, 2006, at 6:48:44

your post makes me feel almost not alone.
i have MANY times thought of ways to spare my family my wavering tortured emotions, ended up in the hospital a couple times also. though it seemed to help temporarily...i keep ending up in the same place. here, alone, in the darkness with only the pain to keep me company. oh that wretched ache that consumes my soul, leaving nothing for those i love.
as for hell on earth. yes. and i have the same attitude...'bring it on'.
but you know what, it's a little fiesty to say that. that's good. that means you have some fight left in you, maybe use for yourself??

now, after that said i must tell you that the children may have a depressed mommy, but they have a mommy nontheless. one to comfort them, one they can run to after school and tell about the special drawing they did, or a kid that picked on them looking for comfort from their one and only 'mommy'. taking this away from them would be devistating for them (as i'm sure you know). for years they will ask themselves what they did to 'chase you away'.
your family may not be having the time of their lives 24/7, but when we get married, none of us sign up for that type of disbelief. in fact, it is trudging through the darkness together that makes a family strong.

you said that you would like to be a 'stepford wife'. that sounds like a pretty good goal. keep striving for that. ya, maybe your T's right and you wouldn't be taking care of your own needs. but for me, sometimes it's a lot less painless to worry about someone else's needs instead of my own, especially when reaching a crisis. BTW, does your T know aabout your feelings that you've expressed here? if not, please consider telling him/her.
you say med didn't help, how many have you tried? do you have a pdoc or is a GP helping you out here.





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