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Re: Happyflower, did you see your T ? LadyBug

Posted by Susan47 on March 13, 2006, at 15:37:13

In reply to Re: Happyflower, did you see your T ? Susan47, posted by LadyBug on March 13, 2006, at 7:12:44

> Thanks Susan,
> I haven't told the other parents about Friday night. They are really wierd!!!
Like, in denial weird? As in, they annoy you?

Kay, here's my opinions 'cause I gather you posted wanting support and I REALLY REALLY want to be supportive here, because, in my family I am a bit addicted .. a bit .. hah .. how do you like that? There's no such thing, that's an oxymoron, it's, like, the ultimate in denial I guess .. I'm the addict, here, and I'm terrified that my kids are going to be too so I can sympathize with your daughter saying the horrible thing that she doesn't want to end up like her mom, because I know my girl will use those very words against me, too. Just because that's the thing a lot of girls say to their mothers, that's the thing coming out with their understanding of what they're seeing, and a lot of times, they're dead on .. but that doesn't make us less than we are, which is loving mothers who see and understand and try to live with their limitations, teaching their kids to take a different road while at the same time trying not to inflict a sense of shame in the child with the road that I've been able to take, within my limitations .. sometimes the only thing I can say is I'm loving them to the best I'm able, and I know sometimes it doesn't feel like enough, but that's because I'm deficient in that .. without them using those words against me when they're angry. It's a balancing act I'm always falling on one side of, then the other, I'm rarely up there right on the rope .. and it is, it's a tightrope that gets strung looser and looser as they walk across it, because the tightrope is time and the child is the walker and the parent is holding the rope, but the parent has to let go of the rope, see .. without the child losing their balance and falling off .. and they do, we lose a grip before we should and they pay the price and lose their balance ... my heart is SOOO with you ...and she's lucky that you're doing this for her, you know, that is acknowledging that you need help to do the hardest things, and I think living with someone who's addicted is probably tough, depending on how they handle it .. there's denial creeping in there again ...
It doesn't sound like Dad's handling it well .. is it your dad too and theirs?
Ladybug, you know, your internal strength is a real gift and I believe that your kids are learning from you all the time and one day they WILL understand. Yeah. Especially if they're smart like mom.


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poster:Susan47 thread:617067
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/619847.html