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Re: Ugh -- the worst part of this whole grade thing Ľ Racer

Posted by Tamar on March 11, 2006, at 18:02:08

In reply to Ugh -- the worst part of this whole grade thing, posted by Racer on March 11, 2006, at 17:35:11

> I know -- and you're right. Think about it: this is a forum for those with psychiatric symptoms, right? So when you say, "She's absolutely *obsessed* with this thing about grades," remember that you mean that in a more technical sense...
> Anyway, I was thinking about it today, about why I'm so insecure about getting good grades, and that usually that has something to do with needing to be good enough for people to like me. Well, obsessing about grades certainly ain't no attractive habit, is it? So it's not only distressing for me, but it's totally counterproductive, too.
> Who has that Calgon?

Hey, Iím a teacher. I always appreciate it when my students care about their grades. But you know what? I also love the students who donít give a sh*t about their grades and are spending most of their university time partying. And the thing that warms my heart the most (as a teacher) is when students show an interest in the ideas weíre talking about, whether or not theyíre particularly bright students. To me itís all about the interest. So I donít think your concern with grades is so terrible, but I also think it wonít necessarily give you what you want.

And alsoÖ I donít think obsessing about grades is an *unattractive* habit. Unattractive habits are things like picking your nose in public or making fun of people who are disadvantaged in some way. Obsessing about grades is a perfectly understandable habit. I think as long as you want to do well for yourself, thatís fine.

Maybe this is the wrong thing to say, but I donít think your concern about your grades is counterproductive when it comes to wanting people to like you. If you were less obsessed about grades I would like you just the same and I would also be pleased that you were less distressed. I like you because you are articulate and interesting and compassionate and helpful and fun. If you got an E (sorry for the uncomfortable image) I would still like you just as much for all the same reasons.

I work in a university: I come into contact every day with colleagues who have only ever gotten As. Some of them are astonishingly dull, many are very self-obsessed and a few of them are downright corrupt. I can assure you that academic perfection isnít all itís cracked up to be!





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