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Re: About not letting go after the fact Gee

Posted by Racer on March 10, 2006, at 20:50:00

In reply to Re: About not letting go after the fact Racer, posted by Gee on March 10, 2006, at 13:15:51

> In uni it doesn't really matter what your grades are. And remember the world won't come crashing down if you don't get an A. Too many people have lived through it before ;)

LoL! You see, my college GPA is pretty high, and I am a bit obsessive/compulsive, so it does feel as though the world will fly off its axis if I don't get an A.

That's a major topic in therapy right now, especially since I signed up for these classes. Why I not only get so overstressed by the grade thing, and not only get obsessed by *needing* to get an A, but can't put the whole test away after I leave the campus. Why can't I just say -- OK, I can and do say this to myself, but why can't I actually listen to it? -- "There's no point in worrying about it now, because I can't change anything."

Oh, and I finally figured out the school's system, so that I could get my grade, and showed my husband. He said, "Top 8? Guess you'll have to work harder." I really can't tell if he was joking or not -- especially since my husband's insecure wife thought the same thing, "How can I only be in the top 8? What will I have to do to get to the TOP?" (Answer: something which does not involve nudity. I'm also having a wicked case of the fats today, if anyone cares...)

So, I do know that it's not helpful to obsess about this sort of thing, but somehow it's almost like a ritual: gotta stress about it, because otherwise the score will be too low...

Has anyone ever gotten over that? I'm a middle aged woman, who really isn't going to have any practical benefit from these classes. At this point, finishing my degree won't affect my ability to get a job -- it's only for my own enjoyment, for personal enrichment. So, why do I really care about my GPA? I'm the only one it can actually matter to.

(OK. Except my mother. And it galls her that my GPA is higher than hers -- I know it does. Machts nichts that I haven't finished my degree, that I have significant psychiatric problems -- but matters that I have that higher GPA. So, maybe there is something there.)

Still, I want to work on getting over this part of it...




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