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Re: Why do I fall into a dark hole? childabuse trigger

Posted by happyflower on March 10, 2006, at 19:32:32

In reply to Re: Why do I fall into a dark hole? childabuse trigger happyflower, posted by daisym on March 9, 2006, at 20:07:42

> I think you said it yourself -- you try very hard and trying isn't enough...getting yelled at is unpleasant for most people. But when your past includes things like abuse, yelling is the first step towards hitting and other nasty stuff. Of course you were triggered. Who wouldn't be?

Wow, I like how you said it better. Remember that poem I wrote on the babble writing board called Scared to Feel the Pain? That is exaclty how I felt the next day after the director yelled at me. I wish I could get over all of those nasty feelings.
>
> I think you did a tremendous job of sticking with it and getting through the concert. Even if you hadn't played perfectly, your courage at trying should be applauded. I think I would have bolted and never gone back.

You know my trumpet teacher told me the exact same thing tonight. LOL I wanted to quit, and did even after the concert, but I changed me mind, I am going to keep playing. I think once I get rid of those tiggering memories probably with EMDR, I will be able to handle critisms better. At least I hope so.

> My son's therapist is constantly reminding me that the goal isn't that M doesn't have anxiety. It is that he feels it, and keeps going anyway. Which is exactly what you did. You can see where it came from and that you can get through it. Now, hopefully, you won't go down so low each time and, hopefully, each time will be shorter and shorter.

I think your son's T is right on target about this. Thanks for sharing.
>
> I hope your therapist helps you feel better on Monday.
> hugs
Thanks for your support and hugs, it means a lot. I think my session will be a good one on Monday but hard for me.


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