Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: Lots to think about...

Posted by pegasus on March 8, 2006, at 9:12:14

In reply to Lots to think about..., posted by Racer on March 7, 2006, at 21:30:13

I'm sorry to be late to the discussion here. But I have to respond because I really struggle with this also. It's so painful, and it's led to a lot of my unhelpful behaviors and thoughts about myself. How can you be angry at someone who is doing the best they could, and just incidentally hurt you without meaning to?

What my Ts have said (I still can't really internalize it) is this:

1) Anger is a defensive response to being hurt or being afraid. So, it's sort of a secondary emotion. When we're angry, theoretically it might help to ask ourselves what hurt us, or what we are afraid of. Then we can deal more directly with the root, instead of grappling only with the anger.

2) It is OK to be angry, even if the other person had good reasons for their behavior. Similar to what falls and Daisy were saying. If what they did hurt you, or made you afraid, then it's natural and totally OK to feel angry. Their having a good reason doesn't make your response somehow wrong.

Of course, when these emotions come up, I usually don't have the resources to remind myself of these things. I wish you better luck with this issue than I've had.





Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.


Start a new thread

Google www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:pegasus thread:617049