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Phone therapy with ex-T?

Posted by pegasus on March 3, 2006, at 9:53:18

I've been thinking that I need to get back into therapy, after a break of about 4 months from my most recent T (T2). Some longer term problems are coming forward again, and I find myself really wanting to continue some of the work I'd been doing before T2. With T2 I mainly worked on specific things that were urgent. Such as the previous T (T1)'s move to another state, and stuff about being pregnant, which I was for most of my therapy with her.

So, here's the problem. I don't really want to go back to T2, who I saw for a year and a half. She was good and nice and all, and I did some good work with her. But I worked with her for a year and a half, and I don't feel any attachment. I know, that's *good* in some ways. But the stuff I need to get into is pretty deep, and there is a reason (that isn't conscious) that I never got into it with her. I always felt a distance from her, so that when I touched on the BIG BAD stuff it didn't feel . . . helpful.

Enter my neighbor. She is currently in therapy with a T who is in a different state. My neighbor used to live in the same state as her therapist, and then moved. She suggests that I contact T1 to see if he'd be willing to do therapy over the phone with me. The thought is mighty appealing. He's the one I really want to do therapy with, not T2, or any of the other 7 Ts I interviewed when he left.

But . . . what if he says no? I don't want to hear him say that he's not here for me anymore.

Plus . . . even if he said yes, wouldn't I just have to spend tons of time processing with him our previous ending, which was very painful? Is that why the idea seems appealing to me? Is that bad? Wouldn't I have to do that with whatever T I do see?

Do any of you have thoughts about doing therapy over the phone with a distant T? I could probably see him in person once a year or so, as he now lives in my home state and I do visit there often.

thanks much




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