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How Do I Get Away From Me?

Posted by Poet on March 2, 2006, at 21:15:32

I am going to Mexico in two weeks. My husband and I are going with friends and they kept putting it off and I kept saying we won't go if you don't. Hoping that none of us would go.

I am not afraid to fly. I am not afraid to travel. My problem is that I can't get away from *me.* My negative self rant will go through my head nonstop as always. Same self hatred, different view.

If we hadn't booked so quickly I'd have more time to lose weight. If I had a new job I'd have something to look forward to when I get back. If, if, if.

I know I can't see the palm grove for the trees. A vacation should make me happy.

Dr. Clueless actually listened to me and gave me Clonazepam for anxiety because I had a panic attack before a job interview. I can understand racing thoughts and anxiety over that, but over getting *away* from real life? What the (self censored) is wrong with me?





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