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Re: Starting marriage counseling next week caraher

Posted by gardenergirl on March 1, 2006, at 9:34:45

In reply to Re: Starting marriage counseling next week, posted by caraher on February 26, 2006, at 18:03:49

> My wife and I went for a while. But it was fruitless, and the big mistake was that we saw the same person I'd been seeing individually. My wife felt like we were "ganging up" on her.

Ugh, that would feel awful, I'm sure. We made sure to find someone new to us both, and we tried to balance the recommendations of both of our T's, too.
>
> Try to make it not be about placing blame (even though I know it's all his fault ;) ). It's really more about your future and problem solving than it is about the past. The past will inevitably come up, but you will not be in a courtroom. You're trying to make something better, not pick unnecessarily at old wounds.


Thanks. This is good advice. I know there are a few things I'm still very hurt by, and I need to let him know, but at the same time, it feels like I'm just beating him up for the past. It feels unfair. But, I have to honor that I'm still upset. Do you ever wish that stuff could just be simple?

Thanks for your input. Sorry it didn't work out well for you.

gg

 

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poster:gardenergirl thread:613257
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060225/msgs/614586.html