Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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i can't do it anymore

Posted by asmita on February 28, 2006, at 11:37:39

i'm feeling really really low, i can't stop crying.

i had a session today with my T and he started by asking me what i understand by reciprocity, basically implying that in my relationships i just take take take and never give (which is not true at all). then he went on to imply that i'm doing everything wrong, not talking enough about myself etc.

then he reminded me that next week is our last session. this is how it works....he gives me 4 or so sessions and then i decide whether or not i want to continue. but apparently he had decided that it should end there.

so i said what he wanted me to say, that i guess i just can't do this, i'm not capable of it. he said maybe i'm not ready. yeah whatever, i need to be ready, therapy was my only hope and he's gone and taken that away too.
to be honest i feel like he never gave me a fair chance anyway, that's why i could never trust him.

the last bit of pride in me refused to let me show how hurt i was. i just sat there silently and when he said i look like i've given up, i said i have. but what i really feel is, he made me give up.

after a while i started crying and i could just tell he was so sick of me by then. he was like 'we have a few more minutes...i don't know if there's anything you want to say' in the tone of 'stupid cry baby, i just want to go home'.

he got up and finally i did too and we went downstairs. he shook my hand saying 'i'll see you next week for the last session' and i said i don't think so. he was so casual about it, that hurts so much. i started crying again. he said the session would be open for me and he'd be expecting me. but to be honest i don't see the point of going. i'm so angry and hurt, and even if i went, what could one session change? since that's all he has time for. i really feel like this was my last chance at getting better and i just screwed it up.




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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

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