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Re: Would you be offended? Dinah

Posted by JenStar on February 27, 2006, at 18:36:57

In reply to Would you be offended?, posted by Dinah on February 26, 2006, at 15:07:37

hi dinah,
yes, I'd feel hurt. On one hand I'd completely understand, because sometimes I need space too, BUT I'd still feel hurt. I'd wonder what was wrong: Did I smell bad? Was I too intense? Was I too something else? It would bug me and bug me, even as I recognized that it should NOT bug me as much. And then I'd eventually get over it, I suppose.

But sometimes it's something simple. If one's eyes hurt, sometimes it's hard to focus on someone that's sitting close. Maybe he was feeling gassy or belchy, or his stomach was making noises, and he just needed to sit apart. Maybe he was feeling nervous about his own life situation and needed to mask it by sitting somewhere else. Maybe he felt that HE smelled bad (armpits? breath from lunch/dinner?) and didn't want you to be offended by it. Maybe he was fending off a bad headache and just wanted to feel more "alone." And none of these things are perhaps things he is willing to talk about. It may have had nothing to do with *you*, although I understand that it's hard to believe that or to really FEEL it.

How are you doing about it now? Have you talked about it with him more?

JenStar


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poster:JenStar thread:613502
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060225/msgs/613923.html