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Re:To Susan unrequited/sort of) Ally is right!! :)

Posted by allisonross on October 24, 2005, at 13:46:47

In reply to Re:To Susan unrequited/sort of) Love with my Thera allisonross, posted by Susan47 on October 22, 2005, at 21:50:23

> Well I'm not really sure how to explain what I mean so perhaps I don't know what I'm talking about.
> Bear with me, let me try anyway. I'm not the smartest mouse on the block (sounds like you are!) but what I'm thinking is if you have issues that have to do with sex, ..Nope, I went to him because my church of 31 years voted me out of membership because I got a divorce (he journeyed with me for 18 months/he is an expert in spirituall abuse, and showed up at the precise moment I needed him!) ournoand wanting to be wanted, wanting to be loved and found sexually desirable, because of whatever reasons from childhood or development or whatever, and you start feeling like he can help you with the answer, watch out. Don't pursue him for that. He can't be that object. He just can't. Nobody can but a real person in a real life, a life you're living outside of his office. Sure, you have to deal with this stuff in therapy, but he may not be the one able to help you with it, and he may not really know how to do it, but once again, I believe he has to tiptoe, and the dance you're dancing can never be Salsa. I told him just last night (we have discussed it quite a few times ; he is increidible and authentic (one of my favorite words)...honest, and he says I knows that I am, also......told him that if he had been my auto mechanic, and I had gotten to know him, I would have been attracted to, AND fallen in love with him...Transference is just a fancy word for.....feelings! He doesn't remind me of anyone I have ever known, and all that other stuff about the Freudian transference, etc.......I think it is sad that we have to use special names for simple things, such as LOVE...of course there are all of the Freudian things that can happen; I've read reams of material, none of it fits my situation. I've only been in love with a few men in my life; I told him that the last thing I ever needed/wanted.....was to complicate my life by my feelings for him.....If ya wanna read my story, I was published (with the psychs, no less!!) The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiritual website: (faith-based poems of anguish, hope, healing and comfort (On my birthday they put my name up on a big sceeen in front of the church, followed by the words: CONDUCT UNBECOMING A CHILD OF GOD. I survived a childhood of abuse, a marriage of abuse, a divorce, and hving my chuch of 31 years vote me out of membership, I can handle anything (except unrequited love, LOL< LO)...I have been counseling abused women for the past 15 years, because of my lifetime of experience and extensive research. I could write a book on what has happened with the t....I HAVE written my memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph (from a child with no voice, to someone who speaks up against injustice in the world), and have a publisher interested; working like a Trojan! Alone now for the 1st time in 36 years (hey, I look 17 years younger than I am; blessed with the genes, LOL): I deserve SOMETHING after (except for 3 years in the army) a lifetime of abuse, right? Love to talk:, Ally (Hey, I AM an Ally; howdidyouguess?! That is what they called me in the army. Very astute!!




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