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Re: unable to get moving/feeling guilty » fairywings

Posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 13:30:49

In reply to unable to get moving/feeling guilty, posted by fairywings on October 22, 2005, at 19:32:36


I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so awful. It sounds as if everything’s getting on top of you and you’re overwhelmed.

I agree with Happyflower: it sounds as if you’re depressed. At least, it sounds exactly like the stuff I feel when I’m depressed. Especially the part about chaos and noise. That’s always the first sign of depression for me: an inability to handle chaos and noise.

I know it’s horrible to feel guilty about how you’re relating to the kids. But I know you’re a great mom, so even if you aren’t doing everything absolutely perfectly, I’m sure you’re still doing a good job of being a mom.

And I do know how stopping exercise can make you feel really lethargic and tired, and then the idea of exercise is unimaginable. And that kind of change can make you feel guilty. Try not to beat yourself up about it. You'll feel more like exercising when you're feeling less depressed.

And you are NOT a bad person, and I’m sure you are an excellent wife, mother and friend. It seems to me that you're being rather hard on yourself. We love you and we know you're not bad.

You’ve been dealing with a lot of sh*t from the past in recent weeks. And that can be very, very hard work. I think you’re doing an amazing job of dealing with that as well as a busy family life and a husband and all the other things you do. I think you’re coping very well, even if it feels as if you’re not coping at all.

I don’t know if there’s an easy way to fix it, but I do think it’s fixable. I hope that continuing therapy will help. I remember that a few weeks into therapy I seemed to feel worse than I’d felt before I started, but it got better again as I kept working on stuff. So maybe something similar is happening to you… and if that’s what it is, it should start to get better pretty soon.

In the mean time, can you talk to your husband about how you feel? Sometimes it can help to get a few things off your chest, whether it’s about how you feel about not exercising, or your difficulties handling the kids’ noise…

Just one more very practical thing: when this happened to me I couldn’t handle thinking about money at all. It’s very easy to forget to pay bills and stuff like that when you’re depressed. If you usually handle the family finances, now might be a good time to ask your husband to take over for a few weeks…

I really hope you start to feel better soon. Take good care of yourself. If you can think of one thing that would make you feel a bit better (listening to a CD, having a bath with candles, taking a 15-minute walk, or whatever) then just do it…





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