Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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unable to get moving/feeling guilty

Posted by fairywings on October 22, 2005, at 19:32:36

I can't seem to get myself going, I can't do just the basic stuff consistently, I want my husband to take over on the weekends so i don't have to deal with the chaos and noise. When I have basic tasks to do i panic or feel incredibly overwhelmed. I hate it when the kids intrude on me when i'm trying to get some quiet time, and yet i worry that i don't spend enough time with them, and that they think i ignore them. I worry too because money's tight and i worry that every month we spend more than we take in, and there are always all these expenses, and the kids want to do expensive activities and i tell them it's too much, and then i feel guilty that they can't play a sport because i'm cheap. I feel like i should get a job, but can't justify the expense of child care when i couldn't make more than it would cost. and i'm afraid to get a job, i'm afraid of having to be "out there". I want to just shut myself away and not go out.

I don't know why i feel this way. I'm not exercising anymore. I used to exercise 6-7 days a week, now i feel like a slug i feel guilty and i despise myself for it. I hate looking at myself. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have a good life, there's nothing terribly wrong. I feel really shallow; like i have no life, no knowledge, no experience. I've started shutting myself away, I don't like to go out, I just want to stay home, but then i feel guilty because I've let my friendships go, and I don't go out and do anything. I feel really inadequate, esp. since I can't seem to motivate myself to do the much of anything and get myself off my butt to exercise.

I want to "fix" myself and feel better about myself, but i feel like i'll never "get there". When i had my last appt. with my T he talked about how i tend to take what ppl say and feel like i have to make it my own, like they're forcing their opinions on me, and he talked about ways I could stop doing that. It wasn't anything he said that made me feel worse, it just seemed like i realized all of my behaviors are self defeating, and how am i ever going to feel good about myself when everything i do is self defeating. I feel like a bad mom, bad wife, bad friend, bad person. I hate feeling this way, but i don't know how to fix it.





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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:fairywings thread:570614