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Re: Counter-transference : a novel / Poet

Posted by fallsfall on October 22, 2005, at 19:21:23

In reply to Re: Counter-transference : a novel / fallsfall, posted by Poet on October 22, 2005, at 17:31:11

Hey, Poet,

> I disagree with your therapist. Therapy should be about what the patient is comfortable talking about. Not what the therapist is comfortable hearing about.

Both my therapist and I agree with you. It isn't that he is uncomfortable talking about it - he thinks that it is unhelpful to the therapy.
> You are censoring yourself if you can't discuss babble to your therapist when you need to. You are censoring yourself if you don't talk to us about your therapy when you need to.
My previous response to Fairywings indicates that he WAS unhappy that I was censoring myself with him. I think that we always have to choose what is helpful and what is not helpful for us. Sometimes (except in therapy...) choosing not to talk about certain things to certain people is a wise choice.

> Falls, put your needs first. Your therapist has to deal with his counter-transference, you should not be forced to tap dance around his issues.

He IS dealing with his counter-transference. But the point is that HIS counter-transference is affecting me, too. He is not perfect, and while he tries to figure out how to get it under control I have to figure out how to get through this period. I have every confidence that he WILL get it under control (though I have some misgivings about how much I will need to [or think I need to] help him to do that).

> I am certain that my therapist has some pretty major counter-transference going on with her realizing how much my sensory defenses are like her son's. She hasn't said *Poet, you've got to stop talking about it, because it really is getting to me how much you are like my child.*

He isn't telling me not to talk about anything in therapy. He wants me to talk about everything in therapy.

>So she is obviously dealing with it and not censoring me. Then again she's probably thrilled that I am doing online research and bringing it in for her to read. And that I'm admitting that this thing seems to fit me.

Beware, Poet. Dinah was "helping" her therapist with survival after a hurricaine stuff - I wonder if she would recommend that approach.
> Anyway, I don't want to rant or rag on your T, it's just that you seem to have so much anxiety over what is his issue. Your issues are what matters in therapy, not his.

My anxiety is because Babble is a coping mechanism for me, and I don't know quite what else I would do. But yes, his counter-transference is getting in the way (but isn't that the definition of counter-transference?). Hopefully we can get past it soon.

> Poet

Thanks for your thoughts,




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poster:fallsfall thread:570043