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Re: Counter-transference : a novel / JenStar

Posted by fallsfall on October 22, 2005, at 18:42:27

In reply to Re: Counter-transference : a novel / fallsfall, posted by JenStar on October 21, 2005, at 19:17:18

Hi Jenstar,

I understand that he would like to be able to witness the emotions and changes that I go through - that is what he means when he says that he doesn't want things diluted. If I expend all of my anger while talking on Babble, and then walk into his office all cool, calm and collected, it is harder for him to understand me. But if he really wants to see it all, then he can come live at my house! I don't mind showing it all to him - but I can't just put things on hold between sessions.

I should also explain here that what brings this topic up is times when *I* am responding inappropriately to other people's therapy. I talk with him about what is appropriate and helpful for me, as a friend, to do in relation to MY friends' therapy. What I tend to do (get overinvolved, try to take control, try to "fix" their life) is not healthy for ME (and I know it). In trying to help me figure out what types of actions and reactions are healthy for me (in relation to other people's therapy), we also talk about other peoples' involvement in MY therapy.

And I still don't know the answer to that question. What IS appropriate and helpful for a friend to do?

He is accepting now, at least, that online relationships are real. So our discussion has moved from "What the board's relationship to therapy should be" to "What a friend's relationship to therapy should be". And he is trying very hard not to tell me that I *can't* talk to people (though he would be so much happier if I didn't).

Thanks for your response.




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