Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Posted by Dinah on October 22, 2005, at 10:56:08

In reply to Arrrrgh!!!, posted by Dinah on October 22, 2005, at 10:43:00

I should say that probably part of my problem with this focus right now (ok, I'll admit I have a problem with it) is that I'm pretty darned pleased with myself for handling all the stuff I've been going through better than I ever thought I could.

All right, I've been taking more Risperdal than I should for my health, and eating a bit too much, and my concentration is so poor that I don't always follow through as well as I sound, so that people at the office think I'm doing better than I am, and are going to be disappointed. Or sometimes I focus too well, but it's on an enthusiasm, not on my work. But all things considered, that's pretty good.

There was a time when I thought that the things that happened this month would have me in the hospital, or at the very least using such poor coping mechanisms that I probably should be in the hospital. But I'm not.

I think it's up for debate about whether T3 is at least partially a distraction, though. T2 was a legitimate attempt to move on with my life. But T3 was more of a "Well, I wanted sex therapy anyway. Now seems a good time to do it, since I may lose my therapist and it's probably best to have a professional already assigned to me if I do." Not the noblest of motives.

Still, perhaps I'm looking for those therapists to be telling me how well I'm doing. Not how poorly I'm choosing my coping strategies. And I guess, except for T1, they have no real way of knowing that. They are seeing someone who appears to be pulled together and functioning pretty well, then discovering that I'm doing these things that they think are less good than other things they can think of. And I think they think I'm wallowing in neuroticism. When if they saw me a rocking crying wreck the way T1 has, or with very poor reality testing, or SI'ing, or not functioning at all, they'd be reinforcing my better coping skills. Thinking that I moved all the way up to neurotic.

I think I'm presenting too well. :(




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