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Re: Worst I've Ever Heard Dinah

Posted by alexandra_k on October 20, 2005, at 15:47:01

In reply to Re: Worst I've Ever Heard alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on October 20, 2005, at 15:25:24

> Well, I must confess that my therapist reacts quite differently to me at my most rational than he does to me at my most vulnerable and emotional. And rightly so, in context.

Oh yes, rightly so in context.
But it sounds to me that when the cricket who posts here expresses her vulnerability she is as likely to be demeaned and blamed as she is to get a helpful response. Maybe this generalises to other parts too. In which case this is unhelpful. Maybe he is more sympathetic to other parts. In which case this is unhelpful because it doesn't generalise back to his treatment of the cricket who posts here - or it generalises back very erratically indeed. Either way...

The cricket I see is a wonderfully sensitive and caring individual who is capable of offering caring support and advice to others. She is also capable of expressing herself really well and willing to look at her motivations and the things she contributes to the unhelpful dialectic that has emerged in therapy.

And that seems to me... That her behaviour is more adaptive, more healthy than anything he is modelling to her. More healthy and adaptive than anything he is encouraging from her. He seems to sow seeds of doubt. And to encourage them by discounting much of what she says and criticising or ignoring most of her genuine efforts.

I think he is facing his demons...
And not faring very well at all...

I reckon...
He needs more help than she does...

Cricket - you need someone to work with you on elaborating and extending your strengths and abilities. Not someone who undermines you and encourages you to doubt yourself your strengths and your abilities.




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