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Re: Your therapist **trigger** » fairywings

Posted by Tamar on October 19, 2005, at 17:23:24

In reply to Re: Your therapist **trigger** » Emily Elizabeth, posted by fairywings on October 18, 2005, at 10:06:41

This is so hard... You’ve already changed therapists once recently. It would seem so cosmically unjust if things didn’t work out with this one. And yet, if it’s not working it’s not working. But I agree that you really do need to do therapy if you’re still working with childhood abuse and fear from being raped. It shouldn’t be so hard to find the right therapist!

I have to say, I disagree completely with the idea that your mother is off the hook because she was being abused by your dad. If you had come to that conclusion yourself (as some people do, including your therapist, apparently) then that would be fine. But it’s not the only way to look at things, and to be frank, if you’re still angry with her then you’re justifiably angry; the circumstances of your mother’s life are probably irrelevant to your feelings.

It sounds to me as if you have a lot of anger to unload, and it would probably be to your advantage if your therapist would listen to it for a few weeks, or months, or as long as it takes. If you’re angry, I think that’s probably a good thing, because so many people can’t even feel angry about what has happened to them. It looks to me as if you have already made a lot of progress with things. I know that dealing with anger is particularly difficult. Becoming angry with your therapist is probably a step in the right direction, if he can handle it.

I really hope things work out with him… if he handles this situation well, then perhaps he’s the therapist for you. But if he doesn’t, perhaps it would be helpful for you to look for someone who specialises in child abuse and sexual assault issues…

I really hope things work out OK for you.





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