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Re: To My Therapist » cricket

Posted by Tamar on October 19, 2005, at 16:55:07

In reply to Re: To My Therapist » Tamar, posted by cricket on October 17, 2005, at 7:41:51

> Thanks Tamar. It's actually prefereable to me right now if he doesn't discuss his feelings for me. It makes me very uncomfortable. Actually if they were negative feelings that might be okay. I could handle that. But positive ones make me want to flee. I know that probably doesn't make any sense.

I think it makes a lot of sense to want to flee. At least, I think I can identify with it. I’m sure I was both desperate for my therapist’s approval and at the same time desperate to push him away. It seemed somehow dangerous to think that he might have positive feelings about me. I guess for me the anxiety was all about whether a positive view of me could be maintained. I worried, “If he liked me last week, perhaps I’ll say something this week to make him stop liking me.”

I think eventually, after enough time goes by, it might become possible to believe he’ll continue to care about you, whatever you say. But it does take a long time…





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