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I guess I don't know for sure Pfinstegg

Posted by Dinah on October 19, 2005, at 10:34:20

In reply to Re: Blessing in Disguise, posted by Pfinstegg on October 18, 2005, at 17:59:38

My best evidence that he's planning to abandon me completely is his refusal to say he isn't, when normally he has no problem with that. He's totally avoiding that. He won't say he *is* but then again he probably wouldn't do that in email anyway. We have an agreement that he's to arrange for hospitalization for me if he ever terminates me, and he can't do that long distance.

I'm going to have my husband drop me off and pick me up from my appointment, so that he can bring me to the hospital if I find it necessary. And I'll be full of Risperdal with maybe a dash of Klonopin too.

I don't know what's going on with him. The last I heard his plans were to be in the city one day a week, commuting from the place he moved three hours away. And that I could drive to see him there as well. Then suddenly he had an opportunity to leave town for a month on work, and did. And since then I have no idea what his plans are. I'm not sure he does either.

But his chatty news involved stories of meeting with the consulting firm he travels for, and I have no idea what his wife thinks of travel, except that she apparently doesn't mind it as much as I do.

I don't think I want any termination sessions. In fact I'm sure I wouldn't. My fury would get in the way of any productive work being done. It would be nice if I could blame circumstances, and not him. But I'm not that nice. Once he announces the intent to abandon, he has effectively ceased to be my therapist, in my eyes. How can you even have termination sessions with someone who abandoned you?

I hope it doesn't come to that. Even if it's just that he agrees to see me whenever he's in town, it won't feel like such an abandonment.




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