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Re: Pride goeth before a fall, etc. etc. Dinah

Posted by JenStar on October 17, 2005, at 18:50:21

In reply to Pride goeth before a fall, etc. etc., posted by Dinah on October 17, 2005, at 17:06:16

hi Dinah,
I don't think it's wrong. Like Orchid said, it's part of normal human nature and it's just something we all do to some extent.

The fact is, you *are* special to him in a certain way since you've been together so long, and there's just no getting around that. The sheer amount of time you've had to develop the relationship -- onesided as it may normally be -- does mean that you *probably* mean more to him than the average client.

I think about people I've worked with or been friends with for 5-10 years. I know it's different from therapy, but I feel a certain special affection for people I've known a long time (as long as they're not jerks or a-holes!) that I dont' always feel for short-term friends.

It's going to be strange, maybe, to go back to being "regular" client and T, if you do go back to it. But if you DO go back to it, maybe you can use this in-between kind of time as a learning experience. He can see how you cope in action, how you deal with stress, how you organize -- SEE it rather than just HEAR about it. Hopefully that would strengthen his insight into your behavior and actions and help therapy leap forward in new directions!

He's a good T in general, and you're a smart/cool person. If you both go back to the standard therapy relationship, I have confidence that you'll figure it out again, and re-establish the boundaries. In the meantime, it's sort of a war zone for people affected by the storm. I think if boundaries get in the way of survival, they *need* to come down temporarily.

I hope you're doing OK. Keep us updated!
JenStar


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