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Re: I think I'm sorry I know so much about therapy Dinah

Posted by fallsfall on October 17, 2005, at 14:45:17

In reply to I think I'm sorry I know so much about therapy, posted by Dinah on October 17, 2005, at 9:04:36

My therapy did get more effective when I stopped trying to understand what he was doing, and just let him do it. I guess I was spending a lot of time trying to figure out what he was trying to "get" from me. So much time that he wasn't "getting" *me* - he was just getting what I thought he wanted to get. Sort of like I was trying too hard to meet his expectations. And he didn't really have expectations - he just wanted to know *me* (whoever that was).

But the only way I could let go of constantly analyzing what he was doing was to trust him. To trust that he knew what he was doing. To trust that he had my best interests at heart. To trust that he cared. It wasn't until then that I was able to let my guard down and show him who I really am.

And that takes time. I picked him because he was efficient, and smart, and had a dreamy English accent. None of which have anything to do with whether he was trustworthy. You have to have SOME criteria for choosing, but I don't think that it is possible to assess trustworthiness at the beginning.

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051008/msgs/568178.html