Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Re: To My Therapist Dinah

Posted by cricket on October 17, 2005, at 8:00:01

In reply to Re: To My Therapist cricket, posted by Dinah on October 13, 2005, at 20:16:44

Hi Dinah,

You are in my thoughts a lot these days. I hope things are slowly looking up.

> And it's because he's a defensive person. For whatever reasons of his own, he feels like he needs to defend himself about anything he perceives as criticism. Either that or fold his arms and cut himself off, which is worse.
> It's not me, it's him.
Yeah. That's how I feel about my therapist. I am not sure how much is my perception and how much is his actions but it still hurts.

> And realizing that gives me a lot more patience and understanding to work with it. Once you gain a certain distance by realizing it's the other person, it's much easier to deal with it because you don't get drawn into the drama.
> I'm not in the room with you, and it's probably not black and white. It isn't even with my therapist because I do say critical things of him. But I think you can probably assume that at least a good part of it is him. And maybe that will help you stay calm the next time it happens and analyze it? I don't know. Maybe that's an unhealthy coping technique, but I do it all the time. "Hey, when I said xxxx, you did yyyyyy. What were you thinking when you did yyyyy. Why did you do that? Please stop. I don't like it." Ooops. I guess that's being critical of him again. But it's worked surprisingly well and it usually surprises and amuses my therapist out of his defensive posture.

Yes, you are right. I wish I could amuse my therapist. I think a little levity is needed.

Your words make a lot of sense and I will try to stop engaging in the drama. I have felt a bit more detached from it this time around than I have in the past.




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