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Re: scared and tired **trigger**

Posted by B2chica on October 12, 2005, at 10:48:21

In reply to Re: scared and tired **trigger** B2chica, posted by pegasus on October 12, 2005, at 10:15:19

-thanks for the support antigua.

-pegasus, i think deep down i know i have to start digging. all i've really done is get it out in the open. no real further discussion other than that. i'm just scared. scared to talk...i think that's what makes it -for real. that's scary. i mean. it's real, it really happened, and to me. it's not my imagination, not a bad dream, not an over exaggeration. for real.

i'm scared of how it will effect my work, my relationship with my husband, and with my family. course i don't think i can do any worse at my job than i have this last year. glad to still have a job infact.
my problem is i always push myself and i think i'm also a little scared of continually digging when i should be pulling back. i'm so scared to jump into this ocean of emotion, i know i'll need sometype of rope tied to me to pull me back when it gets too bad cuz i just don't think i could do it, i'd push and push and push.

-maybe that's it. i'll tell T what i just said, and ask him if he'll be my rope and pull me back when he thinks i need to. scarily he knows me quite well. i think he could do this.
you think?

what do you all do to stop ruminating on abuse?




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