Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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scared and tired **trigger**

Posted by B2chica on October 12, 2005, at 9:31:18

i think i'm in a denial stage of all the sexual things that have happened to me over the years. but i think i'm at a crossroads with my T. do i just leave it alone now, or do i dig deep and start exploring all this crud.
mostly *i'm scared to talk about it and tired of thinking about it!*

i can't get thoughts and images out of my head. sometimes it seems like every minute of every day i'm thinking of this stuff and it makes me sick to my stomach. it also sometimes feels like it's not real, that it wasn't really me it happened to. (thus the denial part). but i have these images so i know i had to be there.

every once in a while at work i'll realize i've gone 10- or 15 minutes without thinking about it...that feels nice.
i see T on thursday and am scared to go.

how do i get through all this.

and in september i had another epc called on me for S. attempt, so this time i had to go infront of the mental health board (like a hearing) and am required to go to DBT along with my sessions with T. i went last saturday and started ok, but then started getting really board. what s@cks is that this 'board' is making me go but *I* have to pay for it.... freggin ticks me off. i want to skip a few sessions, but i'm afraid to cuz there is a case worker assigned to me and she will be checking up to see if i'm 'following my treatment plan' and if i'm not they can actually issue a warrant for me.
ok, had to vent that all out.

but i'm more concerned about the top section of this long message.
thanks for listening.




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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:B2chica thread:566008