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Re: How therapists think or feel (trigger) daisym

Posted by fallsfall on October 10, 2005, at 9:21:27

In reply to Re: How therapists think or feel (trigger) Annierose, posted by daisym on October 9, 2005, at 17:09:42

>But even more important I have to figure out how to stop talking about these feelings unless they are immenient.

I disagree. The feelings are there for a reason. And you need to talk about your feelings. If they are intruding on your life, they should intrude on therapy. Perhaps you can ease your conscience a little if you can clearly differentiate (both for your therapist and us, and for yourself) when they are thoughts and when they are intentions.

(That is what the "promises" are about, you know. When I ask you to promise to talk to me the next day, I'm asking if you can be sure that you won't act on the thoughts. The days when those promises are hard for you are days when the intentions are creeping up.)

When I was released from the hospital for the first time 10 years ago, I told my pdoc that I was still having suicidal thoughts (hoping that he would keep me longer...). He told me that I would probably continue to have suicidal thoughts, perhaps for years, but that I needed to find a way to live with them (as long as I wasn't going to act on them). Now, I can differentiate different levels of suicidal thought, and I can articulate where they are on the spectrum. But it wasn't easy to get to this place. So have patience with yourself.

I think that the first step is to stop fighting the fact that you have these feelings. Accept that they are part of who you are. Then you can try to understand WHY they are part of you. But denying the feelings won't help. It just makes them one more secret - and we know how dangerous secrets are.

 

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