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Re: OK Angela2

Posted by alexandra_k on October 8, 2005, at 23:07:03

In reply to Re: OK alexandra_k, posted by Angela2 on October 8, 2005, at 22:16:18

> The weird thing with me and babble I've realized, is that sometimes I'm afraid that if I post something, people will just tell me to shut up or that I'm stupid or be offended or something. Does that happen to you?

yeah. sometimes. sometimes when something is really eating at me. or when there is something that i am particularly sensitive about. i don't get it anywhere near as bad as i used to. have gotten better with time, i guess. but i find that much much worse irl. i get afraid to walk up to a group of people because i think they will turn around and say 'who said you were welcome here?' or something like that. even when i'm standing in a group i get that. that that is what they are thinking even if nobody says it. and i pretty much stay away from people and uncomfortable social situations because i think i'd just die (or worse - create a scene, cry or something) if they actually said anything aloud.

funnily enough...

those are the sorts of auditory hallucinations that i get on speed too. hearing people say stuff about me. right to my face. i have learned to say 'i know its just the drug its just the drug it will pass i am okay' and i can get through it okay. but that only works when i'm actually on speed lol.

but yeah i have gotten a lot better with babble. and i am a little bit better irl than i used to be so maybe some of that is generalising back. and even when people do go off at you a bit on babble (as they do from time to time - though fairly rarely thank god) then other posters are really very quick to jump in and say something to help you realise that everybody can see that one person is going off and nobody can really figure out why. and so... it is a lot more manageable and doesn't really hurt too much because you can kind of put it down to other peoples issues (so long as you were civil). and not getting responses too... i used to be really afraid of that. and would take it really personally. but i've learned... not to. because it really isn't personal.

but all that takes time...
it does get better.

> I am in an aerobics class.

cool :-)
maybe you can find some people there to go get ice cream or something with afterwards?!

i'd like to do aerobics, but can't do impact exercise...

weekends are worst for me too...
i think it is because...
there is this conception that everybody 'should' look foward to them
and use them as a time to catch up with all their friends
and go out with all their friends
and go have fun with all their friends
and of course it is simply no fun at all
when one doesn't have any.

and i have been there.

and in some respects... i still am.

maybe... you need something specifically to do on the weekends? there have gotta be a couple things you could do...

something on friday night
and saturday maybe?

in a way it doesn't matter what it is...
its just about meeting people and being able to talk to them about something...

if you have things like that planned for the weekends then maybe you'll start looking foward to them more.




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