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***trigger*** rubenstein

Posted by muffled on October 7, 2005, at 22:00:01

In reply to Re: A Question and a big ***trigger***, posted by rubenstein on October 7, 2005, at 18:48:37

> > To punish myself
> and to take care of things afterwards
> it seems as if there is an ending to the issue if I cut
> but its not working anymore
> and I keep going deeper into the whole
> and having to cut deeper to make it work
> I really hope I can stop the cycle
>
> best wishes to you
> its so hard isn't it?
> rach
>
>
>I guess you must have a T and your working on stuff eh? I cut, but mostly there is some control. This sounds so awful, but its been so useful to me. Its the aspirin thing. More blood, less wound. Try not to go too deep cuz you get nerve damage and its really annoying. Explaining the scars sucks. There are alternatives to cutting, but I'm not qualified to speak on that at this time. All I can say is to try really hard to find other things if you can. Sometimes I do 15 mins at a time. If you goto do it, try to keep it small, and hopefully not too deep. Go slow. Slow as you can. Then you might stop with less damage. I see the blood as evidence I have done my job and can stop. Then I feel bad later. I feel ashamed. I wished I hadn't done it. I look at my wound and am satisfied.
Kinda twisted aren't I!!??
Muffled

 

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