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Re: A Question and a big ***trigger***

Posted by rubenstein on October 7, 2005, at 18:48:37

In reply to A Question and a big ***trigger***, posted by terrics on October 7, 2005, at 12:49:16

> To punish myself
and to take care of things afterwards
it seems as if there is an ending to the issue if I cut
but its not working anymore
and I keep going deeper into the whole
and having to cut deeper to make it work
I really hope I can stop the cycle

best wishes to you
its so hard isn't it?

This involves cutting so if you cannot read this post I understand. My therapist has asked me many times what cutting does for me. I am not sure, but I get the feeling that my answer is not something that she is used to. I am going to say it here...the answer is that when I cut it totally clears my mind. Initially I focus on the injury I have inflicted. I am careful because I do not want to waste time in the hospital. After the wound is cared for my mind has cleared considerably and I can take care of the things that need to be done. Eventually I start ruminating again and my mind becomes so unbelievably cluttered I will do it again. Somtimes I go quite awhile before my mind becomes so over taxed and then I will repeat this cycle. I am trying very hard not to do it, and to find other ways to clear my mind. It has been at least 6 weeks that I have not done it. What I would like to know is: Do aother self-injurers know why they cut? and if so can you tell me why? I know this is very personal stuff so if I get no answers I wll understand. I am not even sure if I am allowed to post this here. terrics




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