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Re: t2 is toast - Orchid and JenStar

Posted by Dinah on October 7, 2005, at 4:49:39

In reply to Re: t2 is toast Dinah, posted by JenStar on October 7, 2005, at 0:49:05

I want to be fair. She seems perfectly nice. And I'm sure she didn't mean to shame me.

It's just that some topics are sensitive to me, my appearance and demeanor being two. And to have her comment on them, and in the same tone she used to comment on my coping skills, was distressing to me and made me feel ashamed.

It wasn't really her fault.

There were a couple of other things too. She asked *big* questions. Not as in the important sort that stick in your mind and make you think. I've forgotten the specifics already. But the really open ended sort that are said in a tone that clearly expects a "right" answer, but that are so broad that I have no idea what the right answer is. Like "How would you picture mental health?" I knew she was getting at some of my dysfunctional coping skills, and that's fine, but that question was just too big. It left me totally blank. And attempts on my part to narrow the question down a bit into parts I could digest just led to restatements of the original question.

It was nothing wrong on her part. My coping skills *are* dysfunctional and I guess it's reasonable to wonder why after so many years of therapy I cling to them. And closing my eyes and my very soft tone of voice in therapy are my way of concentrating and talking about tough topics, but I guess they *do* look odd. It's not like she pointed any of those things out unkindly, but she did point them out. And maybe I didn't feel like she knew me well enough to point them out. Or that she could have been more positively neutral or interested or curious, rather than sounding as if she were pointing out something I should change.

My therapist says I'm too sensitive, and I probably am. But I'm not impossible. I thought my son's play therapist was great, so it's not like I'd hate any therapist presented to me.

Just most of them. :(




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